It's All About The Girls

Second open mic night status: Complete.

It was fun!!! I didn't even bomb, so yahoooooo!!!

Prior to heading up to Billings I was a pretty cool cucumber.  I was thinking to my little self, "Ya know what, self? This isn't so hard... It's just a little open mic night and it is totally no big deal. I am not even a little bit nervous."  I might as well have been wearing a black leather jacket with the collar up, smoking a cigarette, and leaning up against a motorcycle while rebelling against something for no reason, that's how cool I was. 

Then we got to Bones Brewery early.  This gave me an amazing opportunity to stare at the stage while playing the many scenarios in which I could humiliate myself on a constant loop in my brain.  Oh brain, how many times will you betray me this way???

I sat there with my wonderful, supportive, and beautiful friends, getting so nervous I couldn't feel my hands... Have I ever mentioned that when I get really nervous my hands get these weird zinging sensations and kind of go numb? Yeah, it's a really great coping mechanism.  It helps me focus on the fact that I am freaking out so much that I can't feel my hands anymore. It's sort of a zen thing.

Thank God I was the third person onstage because if I had been on any later I might have needed a paper bag to breathe into.

I don't really remember much of being onstage, much like the last open mic... I assume this is also a coping mechanism. Sort of like how amnesia protects your brain from information it can't handle.  My lovely friends told me I did a good job, and even though they have to tell me that because they're my lovely friends, I am choosing to believe it.

I feel like I had a better handle on things this time and my material was better. Also, my outfit was pretty awesome thanks to Gina's sassy black shirt and some super strength spanx. I was absolutely determined not to use my notes and I caved and ended up looking at them...

Oh don't look at me that way! I know! I know! I shouldn't have done it, but I panicked and looked at them.  I'm like a note addict, and even when I don't want to use I do it anyway because I just can't help myself... I need a read of those sweet, sweet notes.  Ug.

Now I didn't mean to keep you waiting... I mean, I'm sure you're all in the throes of suspense just hoping I'll talk about what song I walked out to for this open mic... When I left town I still had no idea what song I would choose, so Gina and I used a very precise and careful selection process to determine the perfect song.  And by that I of course mean we went through our iPods until something struck our fancy.  We landed on the song "Crazy Bitch" by Buckcherry.  I'm sorry Mom, I know you don't approve, but it's a catchy tune!!!

Do you think they had it? No they most certainly did not.  Okay, that's fine.  I would have tried to pick a different one, but at that point I was too nervous to talk to anyone about anything.  Instead, I just comforted myself with the thought, "It doesn't matter.  What matters is not accidentally passing gas."

I spun the music roulette and would you care to know what song it landed on???

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper.

What the hell!?!  Another song about girls??? I WASN'T EVEN WEARING MY BIRKENSTOCKS!!! Listen, I know I am a girl, but really, that's all we can come up with?!? Plus, how did they know I wanted to have fun??? I could have been there to tear some sh*t up for all they know.

I suppose I shouldn't complain too much.  I mean, I did get the chance to go onstage and attempt to crack wise.  I've gotten to do it twice! My dream come true!  So, regardless of the fact that I apparently come across as some sort of powerhouse of girl-dom worthy only of gender-related music, I had a fabulous time at my second open mic.  I'm so damn lucky!

Oh, and here's a picture of me!

I hope you have a wonderful week my friends, and may the roulettes of your life land exactly where they belong.